“You are special.. You are beautiful.” Your words may build your child’s self-confidence.. or destroy it forever!
“My daughter Sarah has returned from school with signs of sadness and anger! My question to her was: What’s wrong with you? Like the needle that exploded the full balloon.. “Why am I the only one among my friends who has curly and unsmooth hair? Everyone makes fun of me.. Everyone hates me.. I will never go to school again.. I am not pretty!” I uttered these phrases with tears, anger, and sobs between each word and the next.. As for me, I was standing silent and distracted.. What should I do?
How many times have you heard such words from your daughter or son in different situations? How did you behave? Did you provide him with the appropriate support? Or did you scold him/her and mention that it is a lack of self-confidence and you should stop crying immediately, because if your friends watched it now they would laugh at it!
Unfortunately, our children’s psyche is more complex than we imagine, and sometimes or “often” is just a word in a situation, it will not be sufficient to solve a deeper problem than just “wrinkled hair” or “dark skin” or “disorganized teeth”. The problem here is your child’s self-confidence that you build Or destroy it forever.. or until it reaches a more difficult stage and is infected with what is known as social anxiety disorder And isolation from the world!
Social anxiety disorder may reach your child
It is like a monster lurking throughout the days, months, and years, standing and watching the accumulation of words and attitudes that affected the soul, until it formed a large pile of pain and repression, until in the end that monster moved this pile to block any available outlet with the outside world.. It is Social anxiety disorder in children Or social phobia that affects our children too!
Yes, do not be surprised.. It is true that most of us hear that this condition affects people during adolescence, but some children may start this disorder with them early, and later some can escape from this prison, but unfortunately many cannot, especially with the lack of receiving Correct treatment and handling.
You may see it as exaggerated, but this could be due to the difference in generations and the gap that is widening day after day. The previous generations, to which a large generation of parents belong today, have not heard of such terms before, so it is difficult for them to accept that what their child is going through. It is a disorder that has its causes, symptoms and treatment too! Sometimes they even refuse to acknowledge its existence and that what a child is going through is just “shyness and pettiness.”
There is a big difference between “shyness” and social anxiety disorder in children
Some parents may mistakenly interpret their child’s behavior as just shyness, but social phobia is greater than that, as it appears to your child as if there is a real danger, causing a rush of adrenaline in the body, and its effect is like a rope that binds your child, causing:
- Inability to integrate with the outside world.
- Loss of self-confidence.
- Inability to do daily activities.
- Hated school and not going to it.
To make it easier for you, we will mention some of the signs and symptoms that you must pay attention to fully, in order to understand that what your child is going through is a case of social anxiety disorder.
Signs that your child may have an anxiety disorder
It is first important to know that there are emotional and physical symptoms, and knowing them will make it easier for you to determine whether your child is going through a normal state of anxiety and shyness, or is the issue different here, and the most prominent of these signs:
- Your child’s fear of what other people think of him and how they will judge him.
- Unwillingness to talk or interact with others due to fear of embarrassment in front of them.
- Your child’s fear that any signs of his or her body will show that he is anxious, such as a trembling voice.
- Your child is out of the circle of attention and does not want to appear, always expecting the worst.
- Going into bouts of anger and crying, holding on to the father or mother and not wanting to talk to others.
- Unwillingness to speak.
As for the physical symptoms that you can also notice in your child:
- Shivering, sweating, and your child’s face blushing.
- Stomach disorders and feeling nauseous.
- Difficulty and shortness of breath with a feeling of dizziness sometimes.
Silence your child.. be by choice!
If your child’s teacher, parent, or family member tells you that “your child is always silent,” it may be their choice! It is the condition known as “selective or optional silence”, meaning that he does not prefer to talk to a specific person or a group of children around him or your annoying friend who always starts mocking him when he sees him silent to make (what he thinks is a joke) saying: “It is the cat that ate your tongue ?” Everyone laughs, and your child grieves in silence.
It is important to know that your child’s continuous silence with most of those around him is due to his discomfort or fear, and not because he is rude as some think!
Anxiety disorders hit the world…and celebrities too!
Did you know that more than 3% of the world’s population suffers from various anxiety disorders? There are even many famous people who have developed social anxiety disorder from them Lili Reinhart The American actress and singer, who talked about her suffering with the disease since childhood, until the development of the disease later reached her causing her repeated resignation from several jobs due to the seizures she was going through.
How to protect your child from the harm of the world around him?
You are primarily responsible for protecting your child from all the harm around us. Your child is exposed to harsh words, ridicule, and lack of acceptance from those around him. He must be met with support, containment, and confidence-building from you first.
And because prevention is always better than cure, we advise you to always pay attention to your child and deal quickly with the onset of any early signs. Do not miss anything, even if a simple situation such as your child’s slurring of a word caused his classmates to laugh at him!
You will need to discover, develop and encourage your child’s skills and abilities, and highlight his strengths, but you must know that the journey may be long and you need patience if your child has already reached a developed stage! Along with a set of steps that you will need to take, including:
Hire a professional
It is not a shame at all to seek the help of a specialist, to know how to deal with your child’s condition in the event that the situation is advanced, and you cannot deal properly.
Cognitive behavioral therapy
The specialist doctor resorts to the method of confrontation with fears, so that your child learns to adapt and deal with situations, either individually or with a group.. You can learn more about everything related to Cognitive behavioral therapy.
Provide support from family and friends
Those around your child should not treat the anxiety disorder as a crime or your child’s fault, and it should not be treated with superficiality and cynicism. Rather, try to identify supportive and understanding people to be encouraging and present with your child, and to celebrate with him every small achievement that he does.
Confidence boost
Enhancing your child’s self-confidence, step by step, will make him less interested in how others view him. A word, bullying, or sarcasm will not affect him easily. Rather, enhancing your child’s self-confidence will help make him think less about the worst-case scenario, and he will be interested in having fun first..Learn more about How to build your child’s self-confidence.
In the end, always remember that your words can either build your child’s self-confidence or destroy it forever, and that you are your child’s shield against everything that surrounds him. .. Where will he go?
By the way, you can learn more about the problems that your child may face, and not tell you about them.. through the article What You Don’t Know About Your Children