Sexual harassment is a very important issue that all parents should care about, and no one denies that raising children requires a lot of effort and participation, but a large part of the safety of our children must come from within the home, so we will talk from the heart with you about one of the most important educational issues that You may encounter child molestation, and we will provide you with all the information and guidance you need to deal with this issue or avoid it from happening in the first place.

What is child molestation?

Child molestation is forcing a child to participate in any sexual act or activity with an adult or older person. Sexual harassment is not limited to touching a child only, but there are other images that are classified as harassment that must be known, and these images may include the following:

• An adult showing his sexual organs to a child.
• The adult touching the child in a way that carries any sexual connotations (whether he is wearing his clothes or otherwise).
• Masturbating in front of a child or forcing a child to masturbate.
• Sharing any pornographic materials with a child or forcing a child to participate in making pornographic materials.

According to the official statistics of the US Department of Justice and UNICEF, 67% of the victims of sexual abuse “that have been reported” are children under the age of 18, and about 34% are under the age of 12, and one out of every seven of the victims is under the age of 6 years. .

Child molestation can occur in places known to the child, such as the home or a place close to it. It can also occur in an open place such as shopping centers or even while using transportation, or it may occur in closed places such as clubs or schools.

Who is a child molester?

Statistics have shown that most molestation incidents are committed by a person the child knows (trusted and has authority over the child), usually a close person, a neighbour, a coach, a babysitter, or even a family member (every 9 out of 10 children know the person who abused them). Watch out for anyone giving your child extra attention, such as giving gifts or candy, or anyone trying to spend some alone time with your child.

Child molesters come from all backgrounds and different nationalities, and 90% of reported harassment cases show that the harasser is usually someone the child knows or someone from the family or the surrounding circle. The available data indicate that the sexual stimulus can be as follows:

• of any gender (88% of males and 9% of females).
• All ages (kids, teens and seniors).
• from all social classes.
• Of all races.
• from different professions.
• of the same family.

And the lower the age of the child, the greater the chance that the harasser is among the family members, so you must pay attention and caution.

Reasons for child molestation

Motivations for child molestation to occur include:

• The harasser’s desire to feel powerful.
• sexual enjoyment
• The desire to harm another person just for the sake of pleasure.
• Poor physical strength of children, compared to adults or adults.
• The harasser suffers from mental and psychological delusions that make him see that this act is normal and does not cause any harm.
• Having mental illnesses such as inability to control emotions, sex addiction, or difficulty following laws.
• Exposure to childhood problems, such as domestic violence.
• Exposure to external pressures, such as having difficulty dealing with society and belonging.

It should be noted that these are just factors, but they never justify the occurrence of such a crime, and most of these problems can be dealt with by psychological treatment, as the previous points are just a mention of these factors only.

Signs of child sexual abuse

As a result of a large part of parents not talking about these sensitive topics with children, children usually do not talk about any physical abuse they have been subjected to as a result of their fear and belief that what happened is their “fault” or they were persuaded by the harasser that what is happening is normal or should To be a “secret”, and the harasser can also threaten or scare the child or convince him that his parents will not believe him if he tells them.

Most of the child victims may not show any physical signs indicating the occurrence of harassment as a result of the body’s speed in healing, especially if they are young, but after studying a group of cases, some evidence of sexual harassment of children has been developed that must be paid attention to:

1- Physical signs:

Pay close attention to the following signs:

• The presence of unusual secretions from the penis in boys or from the vagina in girls.
• Complaining of pain in the genital area.
• The presence of bruises on the body, wounds, or any effects that cannot be explained or have no apparent reason.
• Bedwetting or having difficulty urinating.

2- Behavioral signs:

Behavioral signs can help more than physical signs in determining whether a child has been harassed or not, so you should pay attention to the following:

• The child may become aggressive or withdrawn and not participate in any usual activities.
• The child has difficulty sleeping, may have nightmares, or urinate while sleeping.
• The child is afraid of certain people or avoids spending any time alone with them (this person is likely to be the molester).
• The child begins to display inappropriate behaviors, he may act in a way that carries some sexual connotations or use sexually explicit terms (it is possible that he learned these terms from the harasser).
• The child may have problems at school, and may start to have difficulty concentrating or learning, and you may notice a decrease in his grades, compared to an earlier time.

It can give your child if he is being harassed indirectly, but remember that in most cases the child will not tell you directly that he has been harassed.

How to prevent child sexual abuse

As we mentioned earlier, sexual harassment of children can occur at different ages, and the way of communication and dealing may differ according to age, so it is important to monitor and follow up on children from an early age, and you can do the following to protect them from exposure to such harm:

Teach the child more about his body

Care must be taken from an early age to teach the child the names of the members of his body, and to teach him the names of what are known as sensitive places such as the penis and vagina, and the need to emphasize that these areas should not be touched by anyone other than the father and mother, and these areas should not be touched in front of anyone. The child should also be told that if someone breaks these rules, he must refuse forcefully, and ask the person to stop, or scream and try to escape.

Education experts confirm that discussing these topics with children on a regular basis works to strengthen the bond between children and parents, and makes it easier for the child to talk to the mother or father in the event of anything that could be classified as harassment. When the child returns from school, you can ask him about what Has something happened to him during the day, has anything unusual happened or has anyone behaved with him in an unacceptable way? Hearing this conversation on a regular basis will make the child more likely to share.

Be part of your children’s lives

Caring and participating in the child’s life can help you notice any signs that may indicate any harassment or harm, and you can be a part of their life in the following ways:

• They cared more about their daily lives, what did they do during the day? Who did they play with? What did they do after school? And so on ..
• Get to know the people in their lives, find out who they spend their time with, whether they are young children or adults. Ask them about their friends, even their friends’ parents, about coaches, teachers, and all the people they might come into contact with during their day.

Set rules for using the Internet

The Internet has become an essential part of everyone’s life, young and old, and due to the lack of sufficient censorship, it may constitute a source of danger and threat and may even be a source of sexual harassment of children, so some rules must be established such as:

• Determine the sites that the child can view and review before browsing them.
• Prevent or block access to pornographic or sexual content.
• Ask for permission before downloading any software or games.
• If your child is old enough to chat online, encourage them to tell their parents if they receive any strange messages.

How to act when a child is sexually harassed

Given that sexual harassment of children is one of the sensitive and difficult issues for both children and parents, some may behave in an inappropriate manner when confirming the existence of harassment, and this may have a psychological impact on the child, so in the event of confirming the presence of bruising, the following must be followed:

• Keep calm when listening to the child, and try not to show any adverse reaction such as shouting or blaming them, as children in this situation need reassurance.
• Tell them that you believe what they say, and if you feel a little suspicious be sure to ask more questions, but calmly, and be sure to thank the child for being encouraged and telling you.
• Attempting to restore the child’s sense of safety again, exposure to harassment can make the child afraid and not trust anyone around him, and this can be done by telling the child that the offended person has made a mistake and the necessary action will be taken so that he or she does not harm him or anyone else again.
• The child should not be blamed at all when the harassment is known. Do not blame the child because he could not stop the harassment, and do not blame him for not telling you early about the matter, and remember that the responsibility lies entirely with the adult, not the child.

What will happen if you choose silence?

The occurrence of sexual harassment of children and exposure of the child to this problem, can cause physical and psychological harm to the child now and in the future, children can be exposed to sexually transmitted diseases and physical injuries, and they are vulnerable to depression, anxiety, eating disorders or post-traumatic stress disorder.

They may also be at risk of self-harm or involvement in illegal activities, or the trauma may cause them to become addicted to drugs and alcohol, or choose to end their lives (suicide) as teenagers if they cannot deal with the trauma.

Now that you know all this, will you really choose to remain silent about this crime?!

One last message to whom it may concern!

Child molestation is a serious crime that affects the present and future of those who are exposed to it. If you really want to protect your child’s future, you must seek the help of a specialized psychiatrist, and do not care what the people around you may say. Seeking professional help is not a matter of embarrassment.

And remember, dear ones, that this world is hard enough and full of difficulties, and raising conscious children who are able to face any circumstance should be your top priority, so talk to your children, talk until the barriers disappear and nothing remains but trust and safety.